Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Blogging Again

I stopped blogging after I realized that i was talking more about being pregnant than i was about my running/swimming/biking.  I probably should have kept blogging - even if know one else wanted to read it - because I think getting your thoughts out there sometimes helps keep things sane.

So what's new?  Well since i've had Addy - i have completed 3 marathons and my first sprint triathlon.  2 marathons were p.r.s and one was -well we won't go there.  I am a few days away from completing my 10th marathon - my 9th state - i really wish i hadn't done two in ohio - so i could be on my 10th state right now!  and two weeks after that i'll be attempting my first 1/2 ironman distance.

i've been debating in my head what my plan will be for Fargo.  For awhile there I was easily running long runs at an 8:15 pace.  I plug my recent 5k and 10 mile runs in to various extrapalators and they tell me i can do a 3:35.... but my training towards to end went a little off - my last two longs runs were solo runs were rather than distracting myself with chit chat I worried myself into rough runs that were more of an 8:40 to 8:50 pace.  And i know myself - had I taken off the garmin and thought postively those runs would have been better.  You would think that by the time a person was about to line up on a marathon start line for the 10th time they would have a plan in place.  I ran Atlanta marathon as a training run on March 20th.   The weather was hot - and I came to the conclusion that if i am going to run all 50 states sometimes I'm going to have to just run and enjoy the people and the sceneray - i'm not going to be able to race all 50 states at top performance (i'm not sure why this was such a big revelation -b/c i've completed several states where i ran really slowly just to check off the state)  Well for whatever reason that was a huge revelation and it took the pressure off.  I ran one of the most even paced races ever - and when I got to mile 25 i picked it up - i felt great the whole race - i didn't really look at my watch - because it didn't matter - i was running to finish.  I ended up running over an  11 minute p.r.  finishing in 3:48.  it was hot and it was one of the hilliest courses i've ever run - and i've been training for a flat marathon - yet it was almost effortless (as effortless as running 26.2 miles can be)
This brings me back to Fargo - I hesitate to put a goal out there - qualifying for boston.. getting a p.r. etc because when i put expectations on myself I crack under pressure.  If i put it out there that i want to run a 3:40 - the minute the 3:40 pace group paces me i will be defeated.  I will think of all my friends and family who will be tracking me and watching me slip off pace and how they'll be disappointed for me - proud of me still - but disappointed.  And that's when i lose it - that's when a 3:40 days that should have turned into a 3:43 day turns into a 4:19 day.  So my plan was to try and approach fargo like atlanta - pushing the pace a little more - but backing off if it's not my day.  I've blown up by mile 10 in a race and i don't ever want to do that again.  But then i read trisaratops blog today - and I think maybe i need to put it out there - maybe i need to stop playing it safe.  maybe i need to trust that my training - although it wasn't 100% exactly what the training program said - trust that it is sufficient - that i can run between an 8:10 and an 8:20 pace... and trust that i will be strong enough mentally to not crack when things get tough. 
As sara was saying in her blog - i often have to remind myself that i choose to do this.  Not only do i choose to do this - but i GET to do this.  I have a body that may not be that of an elite athlete - but it does allow me to do some pretty tough things.  I have a wonderfully supportive husband that not only helps make sure i get my runs in - but sometimes forces me to get them in.  I think that whatever pace i decide - i need to remember that Fargo is going to be a celebration - my 10th marathon.  I never thought I would run one - let alone 10.  I also need to celebrate the fact that I have a daughter that is 1 year and 1 month old - and this is my 4th marathon since she was born - that is an amazing feat that I sometimes lose perspective of when I look at what all of my speedy companions keep accomplishing.
We'll get to that half ironman later - let's just say that lake looks mighty cold out my window!


E-Speed said...

Hey girlie! Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone with this battle. I do think sometimes when we put our goals out there it leaves us open for disappointment. It adds pressure and we start worrying about what others think rather than about why we set these goals for ourselves in the first place. Just remember you are doing this race for you. And only you can decide what you will be happy with.

I know for me at Columbus I was pretty sure I could run 2:48 to 2:50 and I was positive I could run 2:54 to 2:56. Not telling anyone the 2:50 goal really made it easier for me to go for it that day without any pressure of judgement from others etc.

Your body will let you know what it can do that day. Don't let any doubts or worries get in the way! You will be great regardless of the finishing time. Though I know you are ready for a big break through :)

The Salty One said...

I say go for it! Be fearless. What do you have to lose, really? As Sara said, the sun will still rise if you crash and burn, but imagine how it would feel to BQ! I KNOW you are physically capable of that 3:35 and more!!!

PS So glad you're blogging again!!!

Trisaratops said...

Okay, I just found your blog (how did I not know it existed? I am clearly clueless) and let me just say that you are amazing. FOUR MARATHONS in 8 months. Plus all the other hats you are juggling? AMAZING. 'Nuff said.

I am proud that you layed it all on the line. I really believe that doing that is the best way to grow. I have no doubt you will hit your goal and then some--the good thing about these races is they aren't going anywhere, and there's always another one.

I hope you and Amie are having fun and that you travel home safe to find a big hug from Addy and Steve. And then I demand that we make plans to run, preferably followed by food.


Chin up, buddy. You have accomplished some amazing things and you will continue to do so.

Mnowac said...

glad to see u back in the world of blogging!