What went wrong?

I promised myself I wouldn’t over analyze this race. I would take it for what it was and move on. But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t analyze it just a bit. So here I go – I’ll say my peace and hopefully move on. I must warn you it will be long as I am on a 2.5 hour flight from Denver to Cleveland – so I’ll probably type until my battery on my laptop dies!


Phoenix –January 2011 – the worst marathon experience I have ever had. Was it my worst time ever? Hardly – I have walked / run several marathons that were at the 5 hour mark – because I ran them for fun – I ran them for the experience, companionship and to reach one of my goals of crossing off the 50 states. So the fact that Phoenix was a 4:19 – wasn’t the issue. It was how I felt during the race. I felt like I hadn’t trained at all. I knew I was in trouble as early as mile 8 – and I didn’t go out all that fast. I crashed and burned and didn’t deal with it well. I cried when I finished. I decided then and there I was either never going to run another marathon – or I was going to step it up. I knew I was capable of more and I was pretty sure most of my issues were in my head.

So I found a new training program recommend by someone who had great success with it – I found a marathon that was 16 weeks out and in other state (hence Fargo) and I went to work. It was a more aggressive training program than I had done in the past – but I quickly found that I could do it – that I could hit the paces and I could do the mileage. I started getting p.r.’s every time I ran a different distance race from 5ks to 30ks to marathons. Amie and I would do our long runs and I would have to slow us down when we crept too close to an 8 minute pace. I know it’s not smart to do your long runs too fast – but the pace felt comfortable – we talked the whole way and I was recovering well after each run. At the same time I was and am training for my first half ironman – swimming two mornings a week and spinning once a week. I was seeing great improvement in the water as well. In March we started working out with a personal trainer one day a week – and I was hoping this would be the missing piece that I needed. Strengthen my core etc – and making me stronger over all.

March 20th – I went to visit my friend cris in Atlanta , which coincided with the Atlanta marathon which coincided with a 20 miler on my training plan. The week before my knee went wonky – so I took a week off – and almost didn’t run the race. It was hot which I knew I wasn’t ready for and it was a hilly course – which I definitely was not ready for. I decided I may as well give a go – take it easy enjoy myself and check off another state. I have never enjoyed a race like I enjoyed that one. I went out at an easy pace – talked with people along the way – and told myself I could walk it in after mile 20. Funny thing is - when I got to mile 20 I felt awesome – so I said I’ll just hold this pace til I see cris at mile 23. At that point I realized that unless I fell down and didn’t get back up I was going to have a huge p.r. – so I kept running. At the end of the race I could have kept going – I felt that good. Final time 3:48 – an 11.5 minute p.r. from Wineglass in October (which incidentally was 6 months after I had addy and the first time I had broken four hours)



Coming off of a high like that in Atlanta I knew I was on my way to big things. If I could run a 3:48 taking it easy – what could I do if I pushed it? Maybe I really could get closer to 3:30. After Atlanta I got sick a couple of times which veered my training off track a bit – but I still had 2 twenty milers to do – and because of my schedule – they both ended up being solo 20 milers. 1st one – 8:40 pace – mostly in the pouring rain. I couldn’t go any faster. I chalked it up to running in terrible conditions – doubled up with the huge mental obstacle of covering 20 miles on the towpath with nothing but my crazy thoughts to entertain me. Then I got sick again - ran a couple of 5ks and found I couldn’t get back to the p.r. I had hit in February. I thought maybe it was because I was working out with the trainer on Fridays – how can you expect great performances on sore ,sore legs and muscles. So here we go to the last 20 miler 2 weeks out from the race. By mile 8 – I was toast. I was so tired and my back and shoulders hurt so bad from the trainer –that I didn’t think I was going to finish. Actually it was supposed to be 23 miles – I cut it short. Somewhere during that run I was able to snap out of it for a bit and pick up my pace- but by the end of things I was lucky if I could keep it at a 9:30-10:00 pace. Overall pace was still under 9 – but it wasn’t good. I got in the car and almost cried because my arms were so sore from the trainer I could hardly turn the steering wheel.

So I took two weeks off from the trainer – and took 2 really easy taper weeks. Fast forward to Fargo marathon. The morning of the race I told Amie – I am so tired- the thought of running 26 miles today is killing me – it’s not that I’m nervous about the pace so much as that’s a really long way to go and I really would rather go back to bed. I tried to shake off negative thoughts – I freaked out a bit – but not as bad as normal. As Amie had said to me - I had already had a great year – and a huge p.r. who cared if this didn’t go as well as I hoped? She was pretty confident that it would go well. (Can I just take a minute to say Amie rocks – who runs a 2:02 ½ marathon pregnant?)

I started off at an 8:15 pace because it felt good and it felt easy and I thought to myself ”maybe today IS my day.” I Stayed at 8:15 – 8:25 pace pretty easily for the first 8 miles – and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was exhausted. My back and hamstrings were extremely tight and aching. It wasn’t a feeling of “oh I went out to fast – I can’t keep up this pace” – it was more like I don’t know how I can keep moving and not lay down on the ground… i.e. had I not flown half way across the country to do this race – I would have quit. I tried to keep my head in check – I said get to mile 13 strong – drop the pace down – do some damage control but stay strong – don’t get all crazy and doomsdayish and start walking. Well I stopped to walk for the first time at mile 10. The 3:50 pace team got me at the half – and I told myself that I could still salvage this race- it wasn’t going to be a 3:38 – it wasn’t going to be p.r. – but stick it out and maybe break 4 for the third time. Well my back had other ideas. Oh I kept moving – I stopped a lot to stretch my back to try to alleviate some of the pain – but I kept moving – I didn’t get all crazy and keep walking like I did at phoenix – but I was lucky if I could get my pace per mile down to a 9:30 – it was like I hadn’t trained at all. At one point I was running so slowly my Garmin shut off. I didn’t cry I just kept going.

I was hoping that if I could keep it together and get in around a 4:10 that I would be really proud of myself – and I am. But this was marathon #10 – this was going to be my best one yet. What happened? Did I subconsciously psych myself out when the 3:40 pace group passed me? I really feel like I mentally kept myself in check. Did I just do too much? Are flat and fast marathons just not for me? Do I need to separate my two goals – if I’m running in another state – just do it for fun – not time – and if I want to go for a time goal pick a hometown race? Am I burned out? Do I have unrealistic expectations? Did I just go crazy and try to cram in too much too soon after having Addy? Knowing that I am going to have a second child sooner than later – did I put too much pressure on myself to try to reach all sorts of crazy goals in between babies? And what do I do next? Do I take a break from marathons? Do I work towards a fall marathon and cut out all the other crazy tri stuff? Do I follow a 5k training program and spend the summer working on my speed? Do I only do marathons as training runs and don’t actually do the race I’m training for? Do I stay the heck away from flat courses?

So I’ve analyzed and basically written a book here and I still don’t know:

What went wrong?

Where do I go from here?