i'm either getting crazier or tougher - or both

whew what a week! Finally had a break through day on the swimming. The big pool is closed at CSU for the synchronized swimming championships - but the small 25 yard one was open on friday. Apprently the short distance pool is what i need to give me that boost to go further. I usually swimm 100 meters straight - or maybe 200 meters straight and then i stop. why - i don't know - i guess because tackeling another 50 meters seems daunting. Well with only 25 yards between walls in a pool where i could stand up at any point i felt ok going just 25 yards more and then just 25 yards more. well before i knew it i did 400 yards straight - again i know that's not getting me through a mile in open water - but it was a break through - i felt like i could keep going. So... i'm hoping that there is a chance that i will someday be able to actually get over the issues in my head and just swim.
Back on the running front -i didn't get my second key workout in til friday night. 1 mile warm up 5 miles at an 8:05 pace and then 1 mile cool down. Well it was HOT out - so I was a little nervous - i know how my body reacts pretty well to cold weather - but hot weather is still a bit of a new frontier - I always assumed that if i did much more than go for a walk on a 90 degree day that i would get sick - i guess that's because at one point in time that was true. So - i tend to baby myself a little in the heat - b/c i don't want to get sick. Well i ran my warm up mile at about a 9:30-9:40 pace. Well the mile ended right at the local ball field. Well this guy comes blowing past me in front of this whole crowd of parents and kids. And i'm thinking ok - buddy well just wait til i start my actual workout - i'll show you. Well I waited for about 30 seconds - go some water - and then like a dog chasing a bone i went after him. i don't know why i do this - it's I feel the need to race when ever an older guys paces me - why - i have no idea. well about 3/4 of a mile later he turns left i turn right - for the next 2-3 minutes i slow waaaaay down. my mile time - under eight minutes - so apprently i went out waaaaay to fast - great thing to do when it's a million degrees out - so i keep running into my second 8 minute mile - and my shins are on fire- and i am on fire - b/c it is soooo hot. so i call steve to come get me. No need to push myself in these heat i say - especially with 17 miles on the forcast for the next morning. Well i call steve 4 times - no answer - so i took it as a sign to stop being such a baby and get out there and finish my workout. It took my 38:10 to do my 5 miles - which is a 7:45 pace i think - when i mapped it out i was probably about a .10 of a mile short of five - but either way - under the goal of 8:05 - with a cool down uphill mile of 9:14 --
Fast forward - saturday morning. plan - run 10 mile trail race followed by 7 miles for total of 17 miles - figured this would be a fun way to break up the 17 miles. ha! i had no idea what i was in for. Trail running is a whole different world. i have muscles on my legs that are still hurting - that i didn't know could actually hurt! Got almost a mile warm up in with the serc peeps before the race. I started off a little fast - even though i said - i'm not racing this - i'm going to run this nice and easy b/c i still have 6+ miles to run afterwards. Holy cow was this course hilly - and I had probably more trouble running down the hills than up them - especially the stairs - i can not run down stairs - especially if they are uneven. At one point i just started laughing thinking about how ridiculous i probably looked tippy toeing down the stairs. Well around mile 3.5 i was soo hot - that i my short were actually dripping. The only sport drink they had was heed. aka. poop. So again i started worrying about my pale self in the heat. i started thinking that maybe i would just do the 5 mile loop and call it a quits - after all it was early in my training plan -and i should be careful in the heat. Well I got past the finish for the five mile and managed to steer myself towards the second loop. I told myself - just take it easy and finish it. finish it in under two hours - that will be slow - but it will be a finish. So my feet started blistering like crazy - guess that's what you get for wearing a pair of shoes that you've only worn twice. Well i actually enjoyed being out there by myself on the second loop - i walked up the hills and ran through the inbetween sections and just enjoyed the views - all why telling myself - just finish this - toughen up and finish it. So i did. Final time 1:53 something which is waaaay slow. But - this was my first trail race and only my third trail run ever - and it was hotter than hell - so i can't be disappointed. Espeed got second and amie and janet and todd all got age group awards - so that was fun to watch. I changed my shoes to do a warm down with Barb and Espeed - but my blisters hurt so bad I passed. I went home got some food a bottle of gatorade and a ton of water and a nap. Woke up waited for the storm to pass and went out to complete my remaining 6+ miles. I stopped every mile to drink water - b/c again i'm afraid of the heat. but i managed to maintain a 9:10 pace - goal was 9:05 - but i'm ok with a 9:10. Now - i don't know if there was any point to finishing my 17 miles 3 hours later or not - but it proved to me that i am getting both tougher and crazier. i never would have done 17 miles in any sort of heat. I never would have started the second loop of that course and i sure as hell would not have gone back out to finish 6 more miles. I also wouldn't have finished my friday night workout - and actually had it be a good work out. So i am either crazy - crazy obsessed and i can't let me workouts slide - or i'm a lot tougher and i won't let myself quit when i know i'm capable of more!
So all in all it was a good weekend. Tell me though - how does one do this - not go drinking like normal and actually cook at home rather than eating out - and gain 4 pounds. maybe beer=weight loss! ha! i don't know but I don't like it!!!