Monday, April 19, 2010

Addison Hope

So my baby girl got her first piece of mail the other day - her social security card and a bill for about $2,400 worth of hospital services. Can't wait to see what the total bill was for the delivery! Anyway it was really weird staring at the name "Addison Hope Smith" in bold black type on an envelope that contained her social security card. I realize that she has been her for 19 days already - but she's official - the government even knows about her...
I'm doing pretty good - especially for the emotional head case I can be about life in general. I've been getting out for walks and starting today I am reducing the number of cookies, cakes, chocolates etc that I have been using pregnancy as an excuse to eat.
Steve had to kick me out of the house to go for a walk the other day - because i was getting a little unstable. I walked one of my old 3 mile running loops around my house. It was funny becuase I've run down the streets hundreds of times and during my walk I noticed things I had never noticed before. I've heard people say that running is the best way to explore a new area - b/c you see things you never would in a car... well when you are walking slowly you see things that you would never see when you are running by or looking down to check your pace on your garmin. For instance the people on the street behind me must have all hired the same builder who was on crack to put additions on their homes. Teeny tiny little brick bungaloos with huge additions on the front, off to the side, off the back, over the garage. And of course you have to do one addition with vinyl siding and another one with stone - why would you want to even try to match the brick? Any way I digress...
On 3 weeks from this coming wednesday i should be able to start running again... and of course i've been obsessing over that first run - I have dreams where i am running as fast as I can and it is wonderful! I also spend time worrying about how out of shape i will be and will I ever be able to qualify for boston? Will i be able to juggle baby and running and everything else in my life? What all do i want to juggle in my life now that I have a baby? I worry because I lost 24 pounds in the first week and a half and now the scale isn't budging... will even my fat pants ever fit again? And how frustrating is it that i can't exercise for 23 more days?
I guess what i realized on my walk is that yes life will be different - but it will be wonderful in ways it never was before - and running will be different - and if i'm in the slow lane for awhile - that's ok - I just have to make sure I take the time to really look at and enjoy the things I've been running past... and you know what is awesome? This afternoon I put on a jack johnson cd and laid on the couch while my baby girl slept on my chest... it doesn't get much cooler than that.